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Business

Cuomo Promises Curtis Sliwa Sexual Favors to Drop Out Of Mayoral Election

November 4, 2025 Ean Soh 0

NEW YORK CITY — In a last-ditch effort to thwart frontrunner Zohran Mamdani, independent Andrew Cuomo has promised Republican candidate Curtis Sliwa undisclosed sexual favors […]

Opinion: Too Bad, AFSCME! We Are Spending Five Million Dollars On A New Quarterback

April 21, 2025 Chancellor Julio Frenk 0

Dear Bruin Community:   At UCLA, promoting the well-being of the Bruin family is our top priority. As your Chancellor, I do all kinds of […]

Trend Watch: Withdrawing All Your Money From The Bank

April 9, 2025 Paige Reed 0

WESTWOOD — In light of the recent economic chaos brought about by the Trump administration’s sweeping tariffs, many on social media have taken to a […]

UCLA Housing Signs Dorm Furnishing Contract With Temu

February 28, 2025 Paige Reed 0

WESTWOOD — In anticipation of even less housing space and even more budget cuts, UCLA Housing has attempted to cut costs by signing a dorm […]

Opinion: If You’re Buying Valentine’s Day Gifts From The Hilltop Shop, You Don’t Deserve Your Girlfriend

February 14, 2025 Shayne Sweet 0

Fellas – I know midterms are tough. I know it’s so hard to feel romantic in these trying times. I know you straight up forgot […]

Westwood Spotlight: This One-Year-Old Restaurant Does Mexican Food The Expensive Way

January 18, 2025 Sam Rusk 0

LOS ANGELES — Westwood’s latest resident North of the Border Cantina and Grill opened the doors of its Le Conte location last Friday, serving up […]

LinkedIn Rolls Out New “Open To Fuck” Banner

November 24, 2024 Azalea Morris 0

WESTWOOD — LinkedIn use is on the rise, with seniors desperate to secure connections before graduating, but with a sparse job market, many students are […]

USC Participates In Rivalry Week By Paying Dining Hall Workers Even Less

November 22, 2024 Olivia Maes 0

Uh Oh! Guy In Patrick Bateman Costume Getting Too Method

October 31, 2024 Maggie Kwan 0

WESTWOOD — Last weekend, partygoers at a consulting club fundrager agreed that second-year business economics major Alan Paul got a little too into his Patrick […]

Silverlake Transplants Start Urban Camping Business In Skid Row

October 29, 2024 Sandall Tobias 0

LOS ANGELES — After relocating from Burning Man to Silverlake, two-person polycule Chadwin Parsley and Rosemary Sage noticed a vacancy in the urban camping market. […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 6 »
  • Vampire Draws Line At Period Sex

    WESTWOOD — Local bloodsucker and thousandth-year religion student Vlad Cullen was seen insisting to his suitors he was down for almost anything in the bedroom, […]

  • Companies Are Desperate For Spring Interns: Just Not You, Specifically

    WESTWOOD — Companies are searching far and wide for driven UCLA students to help out over the spring, just not you. Yeah, you. Reading this […]

  • De Neve Oyster Night Ends As Expected

    WESTWOOD — Last Tuesday night, what was supposed to be a celebratory evening with unlimited raw bivalves at the least refined dining hall ended in […]

  • See You Later, Boy: Skater Boys Replaced By “Scooter Boys”

    WESTWOOD — Folks all across campus have been saying “see you later, boy” to the skater boy, and hello to the scooter boy, who has […]

  • Math Professor Doesn’t Know That Half Of Ten Weeks Is Five Weeks

    WESTWOOD — This week, local math professor Dr. Ivil has come under fire after scheduling a midterm for Week 4, a week that is definitively […]

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