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Advice

Health Tip: Swallow Your Zyns

April 16, 2025 Sandall Tobias 0

The great historian Howard Zynn once said, “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.” Revising the revisionist, I say, “Dis Zyn is the highest form […]

Trend Watch: Withdrawing All Your Money From The Bank

April 9, 2025 Paige Reed 0

WESTWOOD — In light of the recent economic chaos brought about by the Trump administration’s sweeping tariffs, many on social media have taken to a […]

OPINION: Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have “Golden Retriever Energy,” He’s Just White and Boring

April 2, 2025 Azalea Morris 0

Your boyfriend’s a bitch!!!!!!!!! In case it wasn’t clear, here’s the difference between your boyfriend and a Golden Retriever: Your boyfriend is not an innocent […]

Top Five Goonable Robots

March 7, 2025 David Doutman 0

Robots. One of the greatest and most attractive inventions ever thought up. They can help you with chores, they have superhuman strength, and best of […]

Lucky Color! My Period Falls During Lunar New Year

January 29, 2025 Maggie Kwan 0

In Chinese culture, red represents good fortune, prosperity, and vitality. So I guess my period starting fifteen minutes into a two-hour lecture today means my […]

Opinion: Stealing Is Morally Wrong Unless It’s From The Hilltop Shop

January 22, 2025 Georgia McNeill 0

The Hilltop Shop is essential to surviving on the Hill. Need laundry detergent? Cheeto Puffs? A month-old refrigerated sandwich? You go to the Hilltop Shop. […]

Opinion: I Am Going To Squish My Roommate Like A Bug

December 6, 2024 Azalea Morris 0

Oh my god. My roommate just looked at me. Why in the fuck ass did he just do that. He might as well be taking […]

LinkedIn Rolls Out New “Open To Fuck” Banner

November 24, 2024 Azalea Morris 0

WESTWOOD — LinkedIn use is on the rise, with seniors desperate to secure connections before graduating, but with a sparse job market, many students are […]

Opinion: I Need To Fuck Someone With A Scooter

November 11, 2024 Amanda Baquir 0

Look, I’m over it. UCLA is basically an Olympic endurance course disguised as an academic institution. From walking up Bruin Walk to climbing the Death […]

OPINION: Lol Did You Hear The News? This Is Crazy. Anyways Wyd Tonite? ;)

July 22, 2024 Tatiana Davidson 0

Hey I know this is super random lol but did you hear about Biden stepping down? It’s so crazy this is all happening. I really […]

Posts pagination

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  • Sad: UCLA 2025 Alum Still Roaming Campus

  • Top Five Father’s Day Gifts For A Dad Who Doesn’t Golf Or Grill Or Fish Or Camp Or Mow The Lawn

    Happy Father’s Day! Fortunately for you, your dad isn’t one of those basic losers who actually gets out of the house and does something on […]

  • Pros And Cons Of Texting Your Hometown Situationship Right Before Summer Vacation

    Summer is nigh. The end of finals is in sight, and unless you were lucky enough to get accepted into some fancy internship in Palo […]

  • Blue and yellow UCLA-themed vibrators at the Hilltop shop

    Anxious For Finals? Hilltop Shop Releases UCLA Vibrators

    WESTWOOD — In light of test-taking jitters, the Hilltop Shop has released UCLA-themed vibrators ahead of finals. “I really wanted to buy the Blue Bullet […]

  • Naked guy at the UCLA undie run

    Trend Watch: Going Commando At Undie Run

    Enough is enough. Every time the UV level is a 7, everybody and their mother is out getting sunburnt on Janss in a bikini top. […]

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
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  • Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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