Carl’s Jr. Grounded by Carl’s Sr.

NASHVILLE — Carl’s Junior announced today that it will be closing its doors for two weeks after being grounded by Carl’s Senior. “We at Carl’s Jr. have proudly served the American public with delicious burgers and fries since 1941, but we are pained to announce that we missed curfew and dad is being a real dick about it,” said a press release issued by Carl’s Jr. before being forced to close its doors. “We will be reopening in two weeks and will be dropping the ‘Junior’ from our name as to not be further associated with that fascist.” Further reports have come in stating that Hardee’s, twin brother to Carl’s Jr., remains ungrounded and will be free after soccer practice.

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RIP Griffin Stout (1996-2023) Failed Comedy Writer and Pet Owner. RIP Bark Ruffalo (2007-2007)