Bus Driver Oddly Peppy Today


LOS ANGELES—Noting his bright smile, sing-songy voice and otherwise peppy demeanor, passengers on the metro 720 bus remarked that their driver was weirdly friendly today. “As soon as he said ‘welcome’ instead of urging me to move aside so that people with their tap cards out already could board, I knew something was up,” said Tabatha O’Brien, who usually expects the journey from her West Hollywood apartment to her job on Spring street to be a dismal, soul-crushing affair. “Whatever this is, I don’t like it. The way he helped that incredibly homeless guy in the wheelchair get on and off, it was almost as if he enjoyed it.” At press time, several passengers had hastily exited the bus, trying to avoid eye contact as the driver told them to “have a wonderful day!”

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Dank, fam