WESTWOOD — Early Monday morning, the newly founded Bruin jaywalking club announced that almost the entire club was killed in the middle of Gayley in a freak accident. “It was like bowling. I’ve never seen bloodshed like that,” reported surviving Jaywalking Club member and new president Jerry Gorz. “We thought we’d do an all-black clothes day to really hype the club up, and the midnight dash is a time-honored Jaywalking club tradition. We just don’t know what went wrong.” At press time, the reformed jaywalking club had announced a surprise march onto the 405 in honor of the lost jaywalkers.
