Bruin Bear And Cocaine Bear Elope

BOGOTA, COLUMBIA — Cocaine Bear and Joe Bruin tied the knot this weekend in Columbia, according to sources close to the couple. The nuptials were a close family affair, with only Joe’s amicable ex Josie officiating and Cocaine Bear’s two children from a previous relationship present for the low-key ceremony in Bogota. The new family of four then traveled to Lake Cuomo for their honeymoon. “Joe is really excited to be a father and support his new wife in raising the cubs, especially after her stint in rehab earlier this year,” said a source who wishes to remain anonymous. “Mrs. Cocaine Bear-Bruin will also be supporting Joe on the court at upcoming March Madness games.” At press time, paparazzi pictures were circulating of the newlyweds enjoying their honeymoon on a yacht with close friend Gene Block and creative collaborator Elizabeth Banks.