BREAKING: Grandma Downloaded TikTok

DALLAS — Local senior citizen Dolly Berkshire amassed one million followers on TikTok Friday morning, a milestone she has been approaching since her video dancing to “WAP” went viral on alt TikTok. “I was so bored without my bingo games that I decided to download TikTok. I love these new trends!” said Berkshire, who recently dyed the front of her hair neon green and pierced her septum. “These dances are so fun! Everyone in the comments keeps calling me a ‘whole ass meal’ and telling me to ‘throw it back.’ I’m not sure what that means but it must be good!” At press time, Berkshire is still deciding between moving into a nursing home or the Hype House.

About Jade Lacy 46 Articles
Jade is an enigma, the shadow at the edge of your vision, the personification of night, and a fourth-year English major and Asian American Studies Minor. She enjoys creeping into your nightmares and creative writing.