BREAKING: Classmate Said “Zeitgeist”

Fourth year philosophy major Nathan Braz, who said “zeitgeist” in a class discussion.

WESTWOOD — At 10:33 A.M. today, according to reports, fourth year philosophy major Nathan Braz said “zeitgeist” in a class discussion.

Sources stated that the word paraded out of Braz’s mouth with such confidence that officials were forced to declare campus lockdown. Most immediate onlookers, cupping hands over their phone screens and Googling the definition of the word to double check its definition real quick, became dazzled by what they had heard, while others entered catatonic shock.

Among the dazzled was Peter Henway, third year Business Econ major and, along with Braz, a fellow subscriber to r/MensRights.I just did not see this coming. But then again, maybe I should have since he [Braz] goes by Nathan, and not Nate or anything. I think my own IQ tripled.”  

According to Henway, Braz raised his hand and said, “Marie Antoinette’s reign captures the zeitgeist of 1970s Haight-Ashbury Boulevard [sic.],” in response to the section leader asking for the square root of ten.

Two students have allegedly died. It appears that the subtle genius of their classmate staggered and scorched their systems: Dr. Anisa Brown, a general surgeon at Ronald Reagan Medical Center, explained that if one “cannot cross into that intellectual threshold,” hearing a colleague drop the word “zeitgeist” can erupt the brain’s language centers. 

“These students may be gone, but they died in honor of Nathan’s confidence, and, of course, his lexicon,” said Dr. Brown. “On their behalf, our hero [Braz] would probably say something like, ‘whilst,’ or ‘I’m a sapiosexual,’ or something like that.”

Officials confirmed that Braz did say both of those things. He is to receive a MacArthur Genius Grant by the end of the month.

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