New Kid Doesn’t Have Any Obvious Flaws To Pick Apart, Says School Bully
SANTA MONICA—Sources reported that local high school bully Sam Daniels was overheard this past Friday expressing his disappointment over the new kid having no obvious […]
Articles by Matt Moldenhauer
Freshman’s Sex Playlist Just The Weeknd
WESTWOOD—Sources report that freshman Brian Clements has finished up curating his sex playlist consisting solely of songs by popular R&B artist, The Weeknd. “He has […]
Area Moms Discuss Book At Wine Club
LOS ANGELES—Sources report that the moms of the Rancho Palos Verdes area all congregated at Susan’s house and discussed a book briefly before consuming multiple […]
Area Man’s Opinion Absolutely Terrible
LOS ANGELES—Area man Randall Steele shared his absolutely terrible opinion with his co-workers while on their lunch break this past Thursday. “We were in the […]
Freshman Milks Common App Essay For One More Club Application
WESTWOOD– Sources revealed that first-year Russell Price was successful in milking his Common App essay one last time for his final club application of the […]
Perfect Date Includes Trip To Hammer Museum, Diddy Riese
WESTWOOD– Last Sunday, first year female Stacy Peters was overheard in BPlate discussing her recent date with Brian Andrews, who took her to both the […]
Last Couple Still Together From High School Finally Breaks Up
WESTWOOD—Sources confirmed Friday that the last remaining long distance relationship that began in high school between Amber Rogers and David Sowers has finally come to […]