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Articles by Jack Lyons

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About Jack Lyons
Robust and well-rounded, this full-bodied Jack has zesty notes of citrus and pine complemented by an oaky undertone and hints of caramel.

Arby’s Always An Option, Reports Area Dad

January 27, 2019 Jack Lyons 0

BAKERSFIELD — Glancing at the “Food: Exit 25” sign on the side of CA State Route 99, area father and Carlson family patriarch Neal Carlson reminded his […]

UCLA Fraternities Apologize For Getting Caught

August 20, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD–In light of the recent lawsuit filed against UCLA fraternities Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) and Zeta Beta Tau (ZBT) for their mishandling of sexual assault, […]

New Sheriff Realizes He In Wrong Town

May 27, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

GREENWOOD, MISSISSIPPI—Upon reporting for duty on his first day at work and proclaiming “there’s a new sheriff in town,” recently-relocated law enforcement officer Darryl Sharpton […]

Report: Your Best Not Good Enough

May 27, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — According to a new report corroborated by your collective of friends, family, classmates, and employers, your best is not good enough, refuting previous reports […]

Study: Second-Borns More Likely To Have Older Sibling

May 24, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — After observing datasets including thousands of families from a variety of different backgrounds, researchers from the UCLA Department of Sociology have discovered that second-born […]

Study: Only 40% Of YRL Patrons Potty-Trained

May 21, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

According to a new study published by the UCLA School of Public Health, only 40% of students, faculty, and other visitors who utilize the university’s […]

Bruins For Israel Pretty Quiet This Week

May 14, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA students noted that the campus group Bruins For Israel has been pretty quiet this week following the killing of more than 60 […]

BREAKING: USAC Candidate Todd From Beta Sanctioned For Unlicensed Liquor Sale

May 1, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — The undergraduate student government election board issued a sanction Wednesday. Todd From Beta, a candidate running for Campus Events Commissioner, was sanctioned for selling […]

BREAKING: USAC Candidate Skirball Fire Sanctioned For Unsafe Campaigning

April 30, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — The undergraduate student government election board issued a sanction Monday. Skirball Fire, a candidate running for general representative, was sanctioned for re-erupting in the […]

BREAKING: Westwood Neighborhood Council Sends Troops To Occupy UCLA

April 14, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — In a surprising act that sent shockwaves across the country, The Westwood Neighborhood Council sent armed troops to occupy the sovereign UCLA campus this […]

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