Third Year Drops GE Because Professor is a Triple Water Sign
WESTWOOD — In a totally Virgo move, third-year English major Alison Wong dropped her religious studies course after discovering her professor was a triple water sign. “I’m […]
Articles by Mackenzi Elias
LGBTQ Center’s Free Printing Jeopardizes Straight Man’s Heterosexual Reputation
WESTWOOD — Red Bull Campus Ambassador Colin Greene was seen lingering an appropriate fifteen feet outside of the UCLA LGBTQ Center, contemplating whether he should enter the […]
P: Save the Bees! / CP: I’m Deathly Allergic
P: Save the Bees! By: Sasha Ellers, CALPIRG Chair Hello! Can I interest you in pledging CALPIRG to save the bees? There are millions dying […]
Ghost Kinda Weirded Out by How Often Family Visits Grave
WESTWOOD — Days before his three year death anniversary, ghost of the late “Pawpaw” Brian Krane reported to be kinda weirded out by how often […]
Area Woman Discovers Hair Color Changeable, Deeply Entrenched Flaws Not
WESTWOOD — In a recent turn of events, pretty subpar woman Madison Wheeler came to the upsetting realization that dyeing her hair did not transform […]