Single Friend Diagnosed With Chronic Unlikability
LOS ANGELES — After twenty-one years of spending Valentine’s Day alone, your single friend received a medical diagnosis of Chronic Unlikability syndroMe (CUM) during his […]
Articles by Cynthia Tran
Ackerman Union’s Cheddar News Goes Bankrupt, Now Mozzarella Media
WESTWOOD — Cheddar News, the news channel displayed on Ackerman Union’s TVs, declared their bankruptcy today with plans to become Mozzarella Media. “Although it is […]
“I Love Camping!” This Student Has Been In A Freebies Line Since Yesterday
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Psychology major and camping enthusiast Abby Nguyen was spotted today on her latest excursion: a freebies line in Bruin Plaza. “Waiting in […]
Remember That Petition You Signed As A Freshman? Well, Now Your Family Is Being Held For Ransom
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Patricia Le received news today that her family is being held for ransom after signing an environmental petition that exposed all their […]
Uber Drivers To Charge Extra If You Talk About Your Delusionship
LOS ANGELES — Uber announced today that drivers are now allowed to charge their riders an additional fee if they talk about their delusionship in […]