Area Woman Unsure If Man Cute Or If She Just Bored

WESTWOOD — Sources close to the scene report that area woman Bethany Watson is having a difficult time deciding if her male friend is cute or if she’s just bored. “Yeah, his eyes are really green and his hair was just made for my hands to run through, but the conversation always ends when I find something good on TV or when my vibrator stops malfunctioning, so it’s really hard to tell if it’s the real thing,” Watson reported while frantically rifling through a new pack of batteries. “Like, do I really like him, or am I just trying to pass the time till De Neve opens for dinner? Who knows.” At press time, Watson could be seen internally debating whether or not to respond to his snap while waiting for Netflix to load on her laptop.

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