LOS ANGELES – After turning forty-five years old during the latest Coronavirus lockdown, area man Matt McTubbins decided to receive a prostate exam from his new primary care physician, Dr. Duncan. “Because my wife and kids were using the bedrooms and home office, I needed to use the kitchen to ensure that the lighting would allow Dr. Duncan to see if I was doing the exam properly,” said McTubbins, who was so impressed with his new doctor’s tele-bedside manner that he agreed to do a colonoscopy the next week with a do-it-at-home kit sent from the doctor. “At first I wasn’t too sure about the whole ‘telehealth’ thing, especially considering how subpar my camera quality is. But once Dr. Duncan explained to me that he was recording the whole session and that he would be reviewing the footage to do more post-appointment research, I was able to get quite comfortable.” At press time, it was reported that OnlyFans had purchased Dr. Duncan’s practice, citing a “content partnership” as the reason for the expansion.
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Arman Abrishamchian is the human equivalent of "if the sun is so hot, why is space cold?" That was rhetorical, nerd. I prefer ignorance.