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Staff Writer

October 9, 2022 0

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Graphic Designer / Photographer

  • Roommates Nationwide Participate in “Never Leave Your Fucking Bed” Challenge

    WESTWOOD — According to the National Roommate Association, a dangerous new craze is sweeping the nation: the “Never Leave Your Fucking Bed” challenge. “HEYYYYYYY whatsgoinonguysitsyaboy […]

  • Admitted freshmen on the Janss Steps for Bruin Day

    Bruin Day Tour Group Throws Peanuts At Students

    WESTWOOD — UCLA Campus Tours announced that as a Bruin Day special, each admitted students tour now comes with a free bag of peanuts for […]

  • OPINION: Useless Sproul Laundry Machines Can’t Even Make Me Cum

    Picture This: the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and I’m trying to be a good little girl and do my laundry on a […]

  • “Bruintizing” To Be Replaced With Getting Hit By A Scooter

    WESTWOOD — Instead of having students dip their fingers into the Inverted Fountain, UCLA has now required future new Bruin initiations to only consist of […]

  • Trend Watch: Withdrawing All Your Money From The Bank

    WESTWOOD — In light of the recent economic chaos brought about by the Trump administration’s sweeping tariffs, many on social media have taken to a […]

Featured Authors

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Azalea Morris
  • Breaking: He Is Fallen
  • Straight Basketball Players Unionize After Highest Gay Per Capita WNBA Draft
  • OPINION: Useless Sproul Laundry Machines Can’t Even Make Me Cum
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Barrett Willet
  • Douchebag Dogwhistle: Avoid Men Who Use The Phrase “Walkable Cities”
  • Local White Boy Makes Big Splash In Intramural Dodgeball Scene
  • Historic UCLA Rugby Hazing Ritual Ruined By Guy Who Just Loves To Drink Piss
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Maggie Kwan
  • Opinion: Shut The Fuck Up About Coachella
  • Bruin Day Tour Group Throws Peanuts At Students
  • J.D. Vance Just Happy To Be Included In Group Chat For Once

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