WESTWOOD — After increasing conflict between Theater majors and the HOOLIGAN Theater Company, the groups announced they would be having an interpretive battle in the space of the theatrical world, which many have dubbed a “Lame-Off.” “Those HOOLIGAN losers have decided to do a multimedia conglomeration of thoughts, feelings, and actions expressed through place and movement. Talk about amateur hour!” scoffed self-titled Conceptual Experimental Playwright and Theater major Hunter Bedford, who was putting on an immersive production of a world where being heterosexual is outlawed. “I bet those HOOLIGAN hooligans have never even experienced the joy of fucking up the ‘Defying Gravity’ riff at the top of your lungs in the middle of the Westwood Denny’s. I almost pity them.” At press time, Bedford had organized a gang of snapping theater majors to intimidate the Hooligans, West Side Story-style.
