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Month: February 2022

HBO Announces Euphoria Prequel Set In Preschool

February 28, 2022 Kylie Yamada 0

LOS ANGELES — Soon after receiving record-high ratings for its second season, Euphoria show-runner Sam Levinson announced a prequel show set in preschool. “We’re really […]

Body-Positive Man Removes Height from Tinder Bio

February 25, 2022 Kathryn Steenburgh 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA’s dating app scene made an historic push toward body positivity Tuesday, when 6’2 third-year Brant Jacobs removed his height from his Tinder […]

Toy Story 5 Trailer Depicts Andy’s Sex Toys Coming To Life

February 24, 2022 Billie Chang 0

HOLLYWOOD — In a surprise announcement made Tuesday morning, Pixar revealed its plans for the production of Toy Story 5. “The concept is basically the […]

The Girl Boss’s Guide To Discussing Inception Without Ever Watching It

February 23, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

Ready for a movie that you’ll like as much as you hate condoms? Christopher Nolan’s cinematic masterpiece is beloved by film bros everywhere, and soon […]

Doctors Hate Her! Local Woman Says “AWOOGA” Instead Of “Ahhh” At Every Checkup

February 22, 2022 Hanna Barlow 0

LOS ANGELES — Just this week, several Los Angeles doctors came forward to detail their uncomfortable experiences with local woman Riley Coyote, who says “AWOOGA” […]

Statue Of Liberty Sent Back

February 19, 2022 Dylan Wood 0

Westwood Neighborhood Council Votes To Add More Vacant Pits

February 18, 2022 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — Citing an uncharacteristic lack of gaping holes in the ground, the Westwood Neighborhood Council voted Friday to add more vacant pits to the […]

Breaking: UCLA Has A Women’s Basketball Team, Too!

February 17, 2022 Gillian Smith 0

WESTWOOD — Undercover journalists for the Daily Bruin’s sports desk have unearthed information suggesting that UCLA has a women’s basketball team that also wins games […]

UCLA Attempts Greater Transparency, Confesses Most Philosophy Professors Have Several Hundred Page Manifesto

February 16, 2022 Melissa Beining 0

WESTWOOD — Amid a push for increased transparency with the student body, UCLA has confessed that almost all of their philosophy professors have several hundred […]

5 Organs To Steal From Your Significant Other Other Than Their Heart

February 15, 2022 Amariyah Lane-Volz 0

Strapped for cash for the best Valentine’s Day gift? Already donated all the blood you can to the blood and platelet center? Not to fret– […]

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