CAMBRIDGE— After several months of careful experimentation, MIT’s leading neurologists have finally identified why scrolling through Chancellor Gene Block’s Facebook makes your dick twitch. “The […]
WESTWOOD — When I arrived on the first day of rush, I was a man with a mission. It was my first time ever encountering […]
WESTWOOD — Amateur comedians have been bombarding unsuspecting students over the past week with invites to their improv shows, and you are their latest victim. […]
HOME — Grandpa Max ruined his family’s annual thanksgiving dinner by bringing up his insensitive antiquated politics and by having really smelly breath. “I think […]
NEW YORK CITY — In a statement given Thursday morning, Macy’s reaffirmed its displeasure with having to throw the annual Thanksgiving Day parade, calling upon […]
WASHINGTON — In the spirit of color coordination and honoring our colonial past, the White House has announced that Thanksgiving will be renamed White Thursday. […]
It’s almost time for Thanksgiving, which means a well-deserved respite from the quarter system: going home, eating delicious food, and reflecting on the plethora of […]
WESTWOOD — After wiping out on Bruin Walk, skater Ken Bone decided he would have looked a lot cooler if he had walked instead. “At […]
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA — A recent report found that 70% of balding men also reported hair loss in the pubic region. “For a lot of us, […]
WESTWOOD — In a joint statement released today, Chip Kelly, Martin Jarmond, and Gene Block threatened to purposefully leak the entire UCLA student body’s social […]
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