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Month: April 2019

New Clothing Brand “Supremer” To Cater To Hyperbeasts

April 23, 2019 Carl Hatch 0

FAIRFAX DISTRICT — Last weekend, hundreds of self-proclaimed not hypebeasts, but “Hyper-Beasts,” lined up by a Melrose storefront in anticipation of new clothing brand “Supremer,” unaffiliated […]

Carl’s Jr. Grounded by Carl’s Sr.

April 23, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

NASHVILLE — Carl’s Junior announced today that it will be closing its doors for two weeks after being grounded by Carl’s Senior. “We at Carl’s […]

New Anti-Homeless Benches Just Giant Metal Spikes

April 18, 2019 Carl Hatch 0

LOS ANGELES — In response to increasing numbers of homeless people, city officials yesterday finished the first installation of their project to redesign anti-homeless benches, […]

Gene Block Mentioned 26 Times In Mueller Report For Some Reason

April 18, 2019 Jack Lyons 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s final report on his team’s investigation into potential links between the Trump campaign and Moscow was made public […]

De Neve Grab ‘N Go Loses Michelin Star

April 15, 2019 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — Lamenting that the dining establishment no longer holds itself to the culinary standards of innovation and excellence exalted by restaurants deemed worthy of […]

BREAKING: UCLA Entrepreneur Bought Stocks

April 15, 2019 Drew Muxlow 0

WESTWOOD — Second-year business economics major Kevin Fisher was just reported to have “moved his assets” from his savings account into stocks. “I thought Kevin […]

Jason Alco Sightings Continue

April 12, 2019 Aileen Carey 0

WESTWOOD — Over the last six months, there have been multiple sightings of what many presume to be 2018 graduate Jason Alco blending in among the […]

P: Ouch! CP: Oops, Sorry

April 11, 2019 Jay Varhula 0

Point: Ouch! By: Beauregard Ploof Ouch! My foot! How could this be? How could you have done this?? I thought you were my friend. After […]

Student’s Cries For Help Mistaken For Meme Jokes

April 11, 2019 Raphe Burstein 0

WESTWOOD — Local third year Mark Pierce has submitted several cries for help to his Facebook feed, only for each one to be mistaken for […]

BREAKING: Westwood Enabler Writers Are Going On Strike

April 10, 2019 The Westwood Enabler Editorial Board 0

To the Associated Students UCLA Communications Board, Jacob Preal, Abigail Goldman, Doria Deen and the readers of the Westwood Enabler, We, the undersigned, are writing […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 »

  • Sad: UCLA 2025 Alum Still Roaming Campus

  • Top Five Father’s Day Gifts For A Dad Who Doesn’t Golf Or Grill Or Fish Or Camp Or Mow The Lawn

    Happy Father’s Day! Fortunately for you, your dad isn’t one of those basic losers who actually gets out of the house and does something on […]

  • Pros And Cons Of Texting Your Hometown Situationship Right Before Summer Vacation

    Summer is nigh. The end of finals is in sight, and unless you were lucky enough to get accepted into some fancy internship in Palo […]

  • Blue and yellow UCLA-themed vibrators at the Hilltop shop

    Anxious For Finals? Hilltop Shop Releases UCLA Vibrators

    WESTWOOD — In light of test-taking jitters, the Hilltop Shop has released UCLA-themed vibrators ahead of finals. “I really wanted to buy the Blue Bullet […]

  • Naked guy at the UCLA undie run

    Trend Watch: Going Commando At Undie Run

    Enough is enough. Every time the UV level is a 7, everybody and their mother is out getting sunburnt on Janss in a bikini top. […]

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