The Westwood Enabler
  • Home
  • News
    • Campus
    • National
    • International
  • Opinion
  • A&E
  • Sports
  • Graphics
    • News In Pictures
    • Infographics
  • Life
  • About
    • Staff
    • Join
    • Contact

Month: January 2019

Third Year Drops GE Because Professor is a Triple Water Sign

January 27, 2019 Mackenzi Elias 0

WESTWOOD — In a totally Virgo move, third-year English major Alison Wong dropped her religious studies course after discovering her professor was a triple water sign. “I’m […]

Arby’s Always An Option, Reports Area Dad

January 27, 2019 Jack Lyons 0

BAKERSFIELD — Glancing at the “Food: Exit 25” sign on the side of CA State Route 99, area father and Carlson family patriarch Neal Carlson reminded his […]

LGBTQ Center’s Free Printing Jeopardizes Straight Man’s Heterosexual Reputation

January 27, 2019 Mackenzi Elias 0

WESTWOOD — Red Bull Campus Ambassador Colin Greene was seen lingering an appropriate fifteen feet outside of the UCLA LGBTQ Center, contemplating whether he should enter the […]

Report: Cool Kids Smoke Cigarettes Again?

January 27, 2019 Hannah Page 0

WESTWOOD — After nearly 60 years of steadily declining cigarette usage in the United States, a a study conducted by the UCLA Department of Sociology has confirmed […]

Breaking: Professor Enters Classroom With Saxophone

January 27, 2019 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD, 10:07 a.m. — Westwood Enabler reporters have obtained disturbing reports from campus administration that a professor has entered the Boelter Hall amphitheatre with a […]

Sunset Ruined By Lousy Stinkin’ Tree

January 18, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

BREAKING: Rain, Shit

January 16, 2019 Sam Mallari 0

WESTWOOD — Contrary to all laws of nature and common sense, it is still raining in Los Angeles. Pamela Hauser, 1st year English major and […]

Search

Featured Authors

mm
Gillian Smith
  • Unemployable Student Goes To Grad School
  • Republicans Propose “No Child Left Unshot” Plan
  • Guy Holding Gene Block’s Voodoo Doll Ups Athletics Budget Again

RECOMMENDED

  • Opinion: What If Your Vape Wants to Hit You?

    April 25, 2023 0
  • Competitive Parents Disappointed Their Five Year Old Has Never Shot Anyone

    April 24, 2023 0
  • Frank Ocean Overworked From Coachella Set, Announces Next 7 Year Hiatus

    April 21, 2023 0
  • Psych Major Offended At Suggestion Of Therapy

    April 20, 2023 0
  • If You’re Reading This, You’re Probably Illiterate

    April 20, 2023 0
FOLLOW US
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
ARCHIVES

Copyright © 2023 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes