Report: Milk Bad For Sure Now
WESTWOOD — Tentatively sniffing the half-gallon jug, fourth-year English major Jenny Wong concluded that the milk was bad for sure now. “It tasted kinda off […]
Month: May 2018
Study: Only 40% Of YRL Patrons Potty-Trained
According to a new study published by the UCLA School of Public Health, only 40% of students, faculty, and other visitors who utilize the university’s […]
BREAKING: Male RA Straight
WESTWOOD — Sources indicate that male RA Michael Uchida has demolished societal norms by not being gay. “This is a landmark moment for all male RAs […]
Report: Freshman Has Sophomore Standing
WESTWOOD — In an impressive display of power, first-year UCLA student Alana Kendrick announced last Tuesday that, despite the fact that it is her first […]
Area Douche Thinks Multi-Factor Authentication “Not That Bad, Man”
WESTWOOD — It has come out that area douche Michael Marks thinks that UCLA’s new multi-factor authentication is “not that bad, man”. “All you have to […]
“My Patronus Is A Lion” Says Woman Who Doesn’t Know Her Social Security Number
DOVER, NJ — Area woman Karen Schindler informed multiple people today that her patronus was a lion, despite being unable to recall her social security […]
Mom On Tour Thinks Royce Hall Looks Nice
WESTWOOD — Sources report that a mom taking a tour of UCLA thinks Royce Hall is nice. “It’s really a very nice place,” said the […]
Covel Voted Most Okayest Dining Hall
WESTWOOD — UCLA Dining reported this week that in a comprehensive poll of UCLA residents, students voted Covel the “most okayest” dining hall. “I don’t […]
This Class Actually Super Easy, Asshole Reports
WESTWOOD — Local asshole Kyle Logan reported this week that his Math 33A class is, in fact, “super easy.” “Honestly I don’t even try at all and […]
Westwood Gets Another Pizza Place, For Some Reason
WESTWOOD — Westwood residents were not that excited last week when a new pizza place, KONY Pizzeria, opened up around the corner from the FOX […]