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Month: November 2017

Ex-Boyfriend Just Checking In

November 28, 2017 Jennifer Harbeck 0

WESTWOOD — Settling any rumors that either party still harbors feelings post-breakup, your ex-boyfriend is “just checking in” to let you know he has definitely […]

Girl Who Didn’t Drink In High School Really Downing That Prestige

November 27, 2017 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Upon the declaration that first-year political science student Kelsey Reinhart “didn’t drink in high school,” reporters observed Reinhart at a recent party going […]

Sociologists Suggest UCLA May Be Part Of Larger University System

November 27, 2017 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — Noting several similarities with other colleges in California, UCLA sociologists studying American institutions of higher education suggested on Wednesday that the Los Angeles-based […]

Point: Gazing Off My Balcony Reminds Me This Is My Time / Counterpoint: Can You See Me Smoking My Bong From The Street?

November 27, 2017 Kali Croke 0

Point: Gazing Off My Balcony Reminds Me This Is My Time By: Claudia DeMonet There’s nothing that makes me feel more alive than watching the […]

Op-Ed: Look At Me, I’m The Captain Now

November 27, 2017 Cockroach 0

Well, well, well. Hello there. Don’t stomp your foot so hard — you’re only wasting your energy. “THERE’S A ROACH IN MY HOUSE,” you say? […]

Bruin Democrats to Install Furniture for Echo Chamber

November 27, 2017 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Bruin Democrats President Melissa Hargrave informed club members this past Wednesday that the club had received enough funding to install new couches for […]

BREAKING: Paul Walker Still Dead

November 27, 2017 Kylie Kinne 0

LOS ANGELES — In a shocking turn of events, famed actor of the “Fast and Furious” series Paul Walker is in fact still dead. “I […]

Trump Travel Ban Also Includes New Jersey

November 27, 2017 Ross Rosenthal 0

WEST ORANGE, NJ  — In a series of tweets this morning, President Donald J. Trump added to his statements earlier this month regarding a revised travel […]

Study: Frat Boy Currently Grinding On You Isn’t The One

November 27, 2017 Brian McReynolds 0

WESTWOOD — According to a recent study conducted by your girls, it does not appear that the frat boy currently grinding on you is the […]

Hero: Man Closes Wage Gap by Going Billions of Dollars in Debt!

November 27, 2017 Drew Muxlow 0

WESTWOOD — Who knew we had a national hero in our very own Westwood? Last Friday, Pew Research reported that the wage gap between men […]

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