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UCPD Relapses After Suffering Arrest Withdrawals

WESTWOOD – Last night, UCPD relapsed in their ongoing addiction to arresting innocent students by violently swarming a movie screening and arresting two attendees. “The […]
UCPD Arrests Student For Thinking About Palestine

WESTWOOD — UCPD officers reported that their week of sitting on their asses at Royce has finally proven useful as they arrested a passerby for […]
Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way

HELL — Following a trip to the local mirror maze, resident genius Leon Noel scoffed at all the morons in there going the wrong direction. […]
Julio Frenk’s “Listening Exercise” Is Cuck Play Where He Listens To Me And My Lover Through The Door

Dear Bruin Community: Since Julio began his listening exercise in February, I have met with 29 men and women, and more than 5,000 non-binary baristas, […]
Idiot Moron Claps At Poetry Reading

WESTWOOD — This morning, fourth-year American literature and culture major Emily Yonicson humiliated herself and her family as she clapped, not snapped, at a local […]

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Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not
Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way

Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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