What a Deal! This Student Just Got a Free Virus With Her Pirated Textbook

WESTWOOD — Third-year Computer Science major Nerdiea Lert was delighted this Thursday to find a complementary virus attached to her free Calculus I textbook that she got from a link on the r/brokecollegestudents subreddit. “Those goody two-shoes who buy from ‘official channels’ will never get to experience these little bonuses,” said Lert, admiring the funky patterns made by the pixels on her computer as it crashed completely. “My laptop is now unusable and my bank account has been hacked, but I’m not too worried. I just got a message a few hours ago from an unknown number saying that I can win a free Macbook Air Model M2 if I just click on the link they sent me.” At press time, Lert was explaining that the cost of a new computer and a new phone was still cheaper than the Calculus I textbook’s 40-day rental at the UCLA Store.