Weird! All Covid Spit Tests Sent Directly To Gene Block’s Office

WESTWOOD — Hundreds of boxes of COVID vending machine spit tests — some opened — have been discovered in Chancellor Gene Block’s office. “As Chancellor, sometimes you need to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty — really, really dirty,” said Block, whose mouth and body glistened in the LED beams. “I’m not going to apologize for being passionate.” At press time, Chancellor Block had installed a new test vending machine outside of his Murphy Hall office in an attempt to “cut out the middleman.”

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Arman Abrishamchian is the human equivalent of "if the sun is so hot, why is space cold?" That was rhetorical, nerd. I prefer ignorance.