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Thanksgiving

Uncle’s Rant At Thanksgiving Dinner Receives Lo-Fi Hip Hop Remix

November 26, 2022 Dana Badii 0

LOS ANGELES – Households across America are jamming out after the release of the Scott family’s new single, “Uncle Terry’s Rant (Interlude)” ft. lo-fi hip […]

This Year, Gene Block Is Thankful You Haven’t Heard About The Mold Yet

November 22, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

WESTWOOD — As Thanksgiving approaches and the UCLA community undergoes the largest strike in recent history, Gene Block is grateful for your ignorance of the […]

Thanksgiving Dinner Ruined By Grandpa’s Politics, And His Musty Fucking Breath

November 26, 2021 Robi Chatterjee 0

HOME — Grandpa Max ruined his family’s annual thanksgiving dinner by bringing up his insensitive antiquated politics and by having really smelly breath. “I think […]

Macy’s Thinks It’s About Time Deadbeat Nordstrom Hosts Parade For Once

November 25, 2021 Billie Chang 0

NEW YORK CITY — In a statement given Thursday morning, Macy’s reaffirmed its displeasure with having to throw the annual Thanksgiving Day parade, calling upon […]

Thanksgiving Renamed To White Thursday

November 25, 2021 Milo Ellison 0

WASHINGTON — In the spirit of color coordination and honoring our colonial past, the White House has announced that Thanksgiving will be renamed White Thursday. […]

Top 3 Ways Besides COVID to Kill Your Grandma This Thanksgiving

November 24, 2020 Kylie Kinne 0

Listen, we at the Westwood Enabler get it — you want to travel home to your family for Thanksgiving dinner this year. You probably miss […]

First-Year Debuts New Personality At Thanksgiving

November 29, 2019 Nick Lansing 0

MINNEAPOLIS — 19-year-old Thor Bjornson was spotted deplaning in sandals and a The Longest Summer t-shirt at Minneapolis-St.Paul International Airport on Wednesday night. “I’m stoked […]

Undocumented Immigrants Taking All Of Nation’s Resources, Says Study Conducted By Racist Uncle

November 30, 2015 Melissa Peng 0

FREMONT, CA — For the fourth consecutive year in a row, self-proclaimed scientist and uncle to five Joey Burke announced at a Thanksgiving dinner turned […]

No Picture

The W.E. Guide To History: Black Friday

November 28, 2014 Nathan Guzik 0

LOS ANGELES — As seems to be the case with most if not all of our cherished American traditions, Black Friday has a much “darker” […]

Obama Pardons Terrorist Turkey

November 25, 2014 Jessica Waite 0

WASHINGTON D.C. – This Wednesday, President Obama participated in the annual tradition of the Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon. Unusually, Obama chose a turkey from Guantanamo Bay. Truffles […]

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