
2 Severely Injured In Fire, My Bad
LOS ANGELES—Two civilians, Glen and Lisa, were hospitalized earlier today after I accidentally knocked a candle over, setting fire to their apartment. “Clearly he didn’t […]
LOS ANGELES—Two civilians, Glen and Lisa, were hospitalized earlier today after I accidentally knocked a candle over, setting fire to their apartment. “Clearly he didn’t […]
SANTA MONICA―An unidentified shoplifter left La Pistola Tattoo Parlor with a stolen tattoo of the Chinese character for “strength” on his lower back, police reported […]
LOS ANGELES—A recent study by the News Inanity Research Laboratory revealed that the increasingly ridiculous state of real events has triggered a dangerous shortage of […]
LOS ANGELES—A recent survey conducted by the Los Angeles County department of transportation found that as many as 70% of Los Angeles drivers who admitted […]
ANAHEIM, CA – Officials from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention announced Saturday that the anti-vaccination epidemic that has afflicted the United States for […]
DES MOINES, IA — According to a recent study conducted by the Institute for the Research on Residual ’90s Influences, the annual rate of wallet […]
WESTWOOD, CA — Struggling to engage his students in yet another lecture, History professor Vincent Hall implemented a new teaching method early this quarter incorporating […]
WESTWOOD, CA – The UCLA Police Department arrested over a dozen sculptures in the Franklin D. Murphy Sculpture Garden Sunday on charges of indecent exposure. […]
WESTWOOD, CA — 7 time Grammy Award-winning alt-rocker Alanis Morissette revealed to reporters late Friday night that the backlog of words created from falling behind […]
OAKLAND, CA – The University of California academic calendar underwent further modification Monday after UC officials announced the shortening of spring break for the 2014-2015 […]
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