Newly Committed Class Contains 19,000 Students With Bullshit Club Cabinet Positions
WESTWOOD—Proudly stating that the new UCLA freshman class will be full of young, ambitious students, the admissions office has announced that 4,000 of the 5,000 […]
WESTWOOD—Proudly stating that the new UCLA freshman class will be full of young, ambitious students, the admissions office has announced that 4,000 of the 5,000 […]
LOS ANGELES — Much to the displeasure of southern California commuters, a study conducted by the Department of Transportation revealed Sunday that the extra highway […]
LOS ANGELES—Working overtime due to an inability to tell his boss “No”, area father Peter Goodall failed to show up for his unborn son’s conception […]
LAGUNA BEACH, CA — Mother of two Stacy Waldorf confirmed to reporters Sunday afternoon that on a recent trip to Laguna Beach, her two children, […]
LOS ANGELES— Upon receiving his fall grades, first year John Perff was horrified to realize that he had received a B+ in his introductory Backpack […]
LOS ANGELES—Police have arrested local man Joseph Gutierrez in connection with stealing his baby’s nose. Gutierrez’s wife witnessed him playing with their son on Wednesday when […]
Pornography these days is more accessible than it’s ever been, particularly to the younger generation. Porn is everywhere. It’s on the computer. It’s on the […]
WESTWOOD—Tuesday morning at approximately 3:44 AM, a loud sound that occurred somewhere within the vicinity of several residential homes was identified by members of the […]
WESTWOOD—Declaring that South Campus is the only true campus, members of the South Campus Confederation ran military training exercises near the North Campus border on […]
ALBUQUERQUE—Students at a local high school burst into song as a form of protest Tuesday when it was revealed that the school’s basketball captain sang […]
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