Local Motorist Turns Left NOW!
WESTWOOD—After several moments of deep, pensive internal debate, local woman Ann Campbell has decided that right now, with a red light and several pedestrians blocking […]
2016
Area Woman Shazams DMV Hold Music
LOS ANGELES — Citing the incredible variety of smooth jazz that she heard while on hold for nearly 45 minutes today, local woman Susan Foreman […]
Historians Uncover Plato’s “About The Author”
ATHENS, GREECE—Historians identified an original copy of Plato’s self-drafted “About the Author” on Thursday that provides an intimate glimpse into the late philosopher’s personal life. […]
Fire In Boelter, Everyone Gets Lost And Dies
WESTWOOD—The Los Angeles Fire Department confirmed earlier this week that there were no survivors of the massive fire that broke loose in Boelter Hall. “It […]
Flint, Michigan Offers To Alleviate California Drought
FLINT, MI—Noting that there’s “plenty to go around,” Mayor Dayne Walling of Flint, Michigan announced in a press conference Jan. 19 that the city was […]