Study: Discarded USAC Flyers Make Up Majority of Great Pacific Garbage Patch

90% of this area is covered in USAC Election flyers, sign boards, and hopes and dreams.

PACIFIC OCEAN — A study performed by the UCLA Department of Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences found that the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is primarily composed of discarded USAC election flyers. “It seems like we greatly underestimated the amount of garbage every USAC Election spews out,” said the project’s lead researcher Karen Zhang, noting that most flyers are thrown own immediately. The study estimates that the swirling mass of unread campaign flyers is twice as big as Texas. “We already knew that the unnecessary amount of waste coming from the elections creates a toxic environment, but we didn’t realize that it was bad for the ocean as well.” said Zhang. The researchers findings forced the USAC Election Board to sanction the Pacific Ocean for deliberately hoarding election material to impact the elections.