Student Lists Proficiency At Microsoft Word As Only Skill On Resume

WESTWOOD — Eager to advertise her technological savvy, UCLA student Jennifer Shaw made sure to highlight her experience with Microsoft’s popular word processor by including nothing else in the skills section of her resume. “I’m confident my expertise in making bulleted lists, adjusting margin sizes, and indenting paragraphs will set me apart from the other candidates. If that doesn’t work, the portfolio of WordArt samples I attached should seal the deal,” said Shaw, who, according to her resume, can be reached at crazymunkey88@hotmail.com. “This applicant really caught our eye,” said Hank Chen, director of a local marketing internship. “It’s not every day that you see someone who knows how to use a word processor, much less someone who lacks any other relevant skills or work experience. Jennifer Shaw, welcome aboard!” At press time, Shaw was seen struggling to learn Microsoft PowerPoint and frantically introducing herself to another employer as a team player and people person.

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Melissa is an invaluable satirist and talented humor writer with the Enabler who has contributed much material, tangibly and intangibly, to reality, and surreality. Her secrets are hers to keep, I'm not about to start revealing scandalous information in a short bio, not gonna happen!! Why would you even think that? Rude.