SYDNEY — The American rock band Weezer has just announced their upcoming tour, titled “Say It Ain’t Saur: Australiaur 2023.” “We’ve translated all of our big hits into Australian. We’ll be playing ‘Island in the Saurn,’ obviously, and our famous cover of ‘Africaur’ by Totaur,” said lead guitarist Rivers Cuomo, who plans to dress for the tour in thongs (both kinds). “We’re going to have an exclusive pre-sale for our superfans, open only to the white virgins of Australia.” At press time, Weezer were reportedly debating a French tour called “Beverlee Heelz.”
