Satirical Newspaper Shamelessly Promotes Own Bake Sale

 

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Deliveries available for orders over 20$. (Credit: Maggie Zheng)

WWW.WESTWOODENABLER.COM—Withholding all regard for professionalism and self-respect, satirical newspaper “The Westwood Enabler” published an article about its Valentine’s Day bake sale today, an act many have called “desperate” and “pathetic.”

“We’ll be selling them on Bruin Walk on Friday the 12th, but if you order $20 or more, we’ll even deliver,” read the online article, which ordinarily limited itself to statements containing humorous insight and actual value to the reader. “Most things are only a dollar! It’s all really affordable.”

An online order form, it was eager to point out, can be found at http://goo.gl/forms/tN7pgaHT3k.

Before retreating back into the oppressive shame of the level it had stooped to, the Enabler finished with a short disclaimer: “It’s all-vegan, if that means anything to you.”