WESTWOOD—UCLA Chemistry professor Thomas Osborne, is retiring to further develop his one-man act after cracking a single periodic table joke during class and receiving a tremendous roar of laughter. “All I said was that I had my ion every student before a final exam, and next thing you know I’m Aziz Ansari at Madison Square Garden,” Osborne said as he reminisced on his childhood to search for new comedic material. “It all makes sense now. I wasn’t born to teach chemistry; I was born to be a stand-up comedian. I may be Professor Osborne to the students, but once I step foot behind that podium and ask ‘is this thing on’ in reference to the microphone—just call me Seinfeld.” The morning before lecture, Osborne was seen writing down Amy Schumer’s jokes on the back of his hand.
