Point: Let’s Watch This Baseball Game on T.V. / Counterpoint: Let’s Fucking Not

P: Let’s Watch This Baseball Game on TV.

By: Dylan Wood

Baseball is such a fun sport. I know it takes four hours, but it’s all so action packed. I think I’ll turn on the TV just to see how those Cubs are doing. (You know their record is 17-17? They only have 128 games to get over a .500 winning percentage. Can they do it? Make sure you catch every game at 10:00 a.m. on a weekday to find out.) Oh, look. The batter almost hit the ball, but he actually didn’t though. No way. The pitcher is going to throw another pitch. He’s gripping the ball, looking at the catcher and nodding to the signal. Oh, wait – nevermind – the batter wants a timeout. That’s completely understandable because he needs to manhandle his groin and then redo every single piece of velcro on his body. I like how every article of clothing on his body is filled with it.

Boy, there’s nothing like live baseball.

CP: Let’s Fucking Not

By: Anybody Else

Hand me the remote.

mm
About Arman 17 Articles
Arman Abrishamchian is the human equivalent of "if the sun is so hot, why is space cold?" That was rhetorical, nerd. I prefer ignorance.