BREAKING: Freshman’s Virginity Still Going Strong
WESTWOOD — It’s spring quarter, and somehow, local freshman James Rosenberg’s virginity is still intact. “I knew it was going to take some time, but […]
WESTWOOD — It’s spring quarter, and somehow, local freshman James Rosenberg’s virginity is still intact. “I knew it was going to take some time, but […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After working around the clock to oppose the Republican party’s legislative agenda, sources close to minority leader Nancy Pelosi say she had a […]
WESTWOOD — Last night at B-Fit, freshman Rodney Caldwell was reportedly using the tricep machine without properly bending his knees, but business economics major Brock […]
WESTWOOD—Earlier today UCLA student Scott Arnedt told his a friends a funny story that could be completely attributed to his debilitating alcoholism. “Last night I […]
WESTWOOD—Sources inside the Bruin Fitness Center (B-Fit) weight room confirmed on Monday that the campus gym was again playing that song that they always play. […]
LOS ANGELES — In a shocking turn of events, local six-year-old Aiden Thomas recently discovered his parents, previously thought to just be very good friends, are […]
WESTWOOD — An offhand affirmation recently imparted by UCLA biochemistry professor Keith Abrams to one of his students was just enough to sustain the delusional fantasy […]
Dianne Feinstein is known by her Senate colleagues as “the Queen of birthday parties,” and this June’s big 8-5 is sure to be no […]
WESTWOOD — Fuck! I just heard on Facebook that Cambridge Analytica has all my information now! What will I do? Oh shit. Do they know that […]
Dear David: After careful review of your application for admission, we regret to inform you that we are not able to offer you admission for […]
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