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A Song Of Ice And Fire Spoils Game Of Thrones

June 4, 2014 Jessica Waite 0

HOLLYWOOD – Epic fantasy scholars have recently discovered that the best-selling book series A Song of Ice and Fire contains major spoilers for the hit […]

Outmoded History Professor Reconnects With Students Via Vine-Based Lectures

June 2, 2014 Christopher Wong 0

WESTWOOD, CA — Struggling to engage his students in yet another lecture, History professor Vincent Hall implemented a new teaching method early this quarter incorporating […]

Ashe Center Doctor Diagnoses Patient as “Sick”

May 28, 2014 Stephen Reichenbach 0

WESTWOOD—Earlier today, the Westwood Enabler received confirmation that a doctor working in the Ashe Center had diagnosed a student as being “sick.” According to reports, […]

Kinky Lab Rat Likes Being Abused

May 23, 2014 Luke Moran 0

SEATTLE—Noting a spike in the serotonin levels of test subject 110021a, nicknamed “Alfred”, scientists at the Bryer National Laboratory concluded this morning that the rodent […]

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Student Neglects to Forward Chain Letter, Almost Dies

May 21, 2014 Jessica Waite 0

WESTWOOD – Yesterday morning, police were called to UCLA’s dormitories after a student woke up in terror. The student, whose name cannot be revealed for […]

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Murphy Sculpture Garden Sculptures Arrested for Indecent Exposure

May 19, 2014 Christopher Wong 0

WESTWOOD, CA – The UCLA Police Department arrested over a dozen sculptures in the Franklin D. Murphy Sculpture Garden Sunday on charges of indecent exposure. […]

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Alanis Morissette Finally Catches Up On Word Of The Day Calendar

May 18, 2014 Christopher Wong 0

WESTWOOD, CA — 7 time Grammy Award-winning alt-rocker Alanis Morissette revealed to reporters late Friday night that the backlog of words created from falling behind […]

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Spring Sing Mix Up Leads To Choreographed Hostage Situation

May 17, 2014 Nathan Guzik 0

WESTWOOD — The much anticipated seasonal jubilee known as Spring Sing saw an impressive number of attendants as expected yesterday evening, though the otherwise exuberant […]

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Royce Light Show “More Dangerous Than Banned Pokemon Episode”

May 14, 2014 Jessica Waite 0

WESTWOOD – Rumors surrounding the Royce Hall light show have been working their way up and down Bruinwalk, and some of them are not in […]

A Bunch Of Grad Students Just Doing Their Thing

May 12, 2014 Luke Moran 0

WESTWOOD—A bunch of grad students were spotted in Westwood village early Sunday evening just sort of hanging out, doing their grad student thing. At approximately […]

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