A Song Of Ice And Fire Spoils Game Of Thrones
HOLLYWOOD – Epic fantasy scholars have recently discovered that the best-selling book series A Song of Ice and Fire contains major spoilers for the hit […]
Outmoded History Professor Reconnects With Students Via Vine-Based Lectures
WESTWOOD, CA — Struggling to engage his students in yet another lecture, History professor Vincent Hall implemented a new teaching method early this quarter incorporating […]
Ashe Center Doctor Diagnoses Patient as “Sick”
WESTWOOD—Earlier today, the Westwood Enabler received confirmation that a doctor working in the Ashe Center had diagnosed a student as being “sick.” According to reports, […]
Kinky Lab Rat Likes Being Abused
SEATTLE—Noting a spike in the serotonin levels of test subject 110021a, nicknamed “Alfred”, scientists at the Bryer National Laboratory concluded this morning that the rodent […]
Student Neglects to Forward Chain Letter, Almost Dies
WESTWOOD – Yesterday morning, police were called to UCLA’s dormitories after a student woke up in terror. The student, whose name cannot be revealed for […]
Murphy Sculpture Garden Sculptures Arrested for Indecent Exposure
WESTWOOD, CA – The UCLA Police Department arrested over a dozen sculptures in the Franklin D. Murphy Sculpture Garden Sunday on charges of indecent exposure. […]
Alanis Morissette Finally Catches Up On Word Of The Day Calendar
WESTWOOD, CA — 7 time Grammy Award-winning alt-rocker Alanis Morissette revealed to reporters late Friday night that the backlog of words created from falling behind […]
Spring Sing Mix Up Leads To Choreographed Hostage Situation
WESTWOOD — The much anticipated seasonal jubilee known as Spring Sing saw an impressive number of attendants as expected yesterday evening, though the otherwise exuberant […]
Royce Light Show “More Dangerous Than Banned Pokemon Episode”
WESTWOOD – Rumors surrounding the Royce Hall light show have been working their way up and down Bruinwalk, and some of them are not in […]
A Bunch Of Grad Students Just Doing Their Thing
WESTWOOD—A bunch of grad students were spotted in Westwood village early Sunday evening just sort of hanging out, doing their grad student thing. At approximately […]