I see you, sitting there on some dating app. I know you desperately lingered in the Rocco’s line last weekend, hoping by the grace of some higher power that the true love of your life would magically appear and save you from your misery. You probably even know someone who loiters near Boelter once a week trying to find one of those rare perfect engineer types. Your friends tell you it’s good to be single in college, while your grandma tells you that you should really get around to finding that special someone like she did in 1968.
But grandma just doesn’t get it. You’ve been part of the debriefs, you’ve heard your friends tell you about date after date where everything was fine until something inevitably went wrong in the first two minutes and he didn’t even offer to pay. Maybe they mentioned their crazy ex, told you they killed a man once in 2009, puked on you… the pitfalls of dating know no bounds.
With all that in mind, I want you to sit back and think for a second. Do you really want to stick around to find out if the green flags outweigh the red flags or if they all become orange or beige or royal blue or vomit green or neon yellow to try to explain away the fact that they suck and you might just end up alone?
I’ll answer the question for you. You absolutely do not. Why stick around to find out when you could simply give up? You probably have an exam to study for. When’s the last time you really had a hobby? You’re not on Hinge, you’re unhinged. Are they even cute? Go outside. Do literally anything else with your time. There is no shame in walking away. In fact, I know you have a stained bedsheet or single white sock somewhere. Wave that white flag of surrender, because it ain’t getting better out there.