WESTWOOD – Receiving enormous praise for her kindness and understanding, Rachel Irwin, Professor of Economics, generously allows students to sob quietly during class. “I’ve never had a professor be so lenient about that,” reports second-year Theresa Nelson, who is frequently admonished by professors for her incessant tear-shedding. “She understands the compulsion of all university students to want to cry every moment of the day.” Theresa added that Professor Irwin’s warm demeanor “really makes you feel less guilty when you’re blubbering like a goddamn three-year-old surrounded by your classmates.” At press time, sources reported that Irwin was even understanding enough to let one student howl gutturally in stress-induced anguish during class.