RICHMOND, VA—According to his friends, local man Steve Crandall is currently unaware there is a spooky skeleton not-so-deep inside of him. “Steve made a joke last week about skeletons being the least frightening of all monsters, as if he was totally unaware that one had already invaded his body,” said Carol Dovedy, avid cryptologist, and Crandall’s best friend. “At this rate, I’m worried an exorcism won’t even flush the damn thing out. I think it’s in too deep – Steve seemed really concerned he might have broken a ‘bone’ when he was in a car accident last week.” At press time, Dovedy was quizzing Crandall on his childhood memories to see if the skeleton had taken those, too.
