Local Weirdo’s Favorite Muppet Isn’t Beaker

The Muppets are great!

WESTWOOD–Sources have recently confirmed that the favorite Muppet of Ian O’Neill, a local weirdo, isn’t Beaker. “Beaker’s alright, but no way is he my favorite,” said the local madman, whose is somehow impervious to the adorable charm of the orange-haired felt puppet. “I think there are Muppets who are much more iconic and lovable, such as Kermit or even Gonzo.” O’Neill, who – Gonzo? Did he really just say Gonzo? – has been a fan of the Muppets since he was a child, reports that he never really understood the appeal of the hilariously bug-eyed laboratory assistant of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. “All he really does is get thrashed around and say ‘meep’ all the time. I think ‘The Muppets’ has better characters than that.” At press time, the nation wondered if O’Neill had other stupid preferences, such as liking the Matrix sequels more than the original.