BRENTWOOD—According to local reports, a young mother was seen last Sunday afternoon at a local Whole Foods Market shopping with her son. Instead of bringing him inside, however, the mother allegedly placed him on a mechanical pony, paid 50 cents, and left. Onlookers were confused by the sight of the boy having fun alone on the pony. “Umm…who the fuck does that kid belong to??” said multiple passersby as they entered the store. When asked whether the possibility of a kidnapping occurred to the mother, she simply said, “Listen, no one tells me how I take care of my little boy. Why can’t I get some shopping done while he’s perfectly fine with the pony? Haven’t you ever heard of ‘multitasking’? Supernanny does that all of the time and I really– wait, shit. Where’d he go?” At press time, the boy could be seen on an adjacent miniature merry-go-round.