International Student Shocked To Learn Texas Is Not The Wild West

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An absence of a corral was among the first red flags for Nasreen.

WESTWOOD, CA—After a recent trip to Texas, Abdul Nasreen, an international student from the Middle East, declared his shock when it was revealed to him that Texas contained some of the largest cities in the entire United States. “It makes absolutely no sense, you know? In every media depiction of Texas, you see cowboys chasing Indians or railroad robbers. The idea that they have cities like Houston that are hubs of technological development is frankly, quite hard to believe.” Nasreen was further dismayed when he was told that there had not been a dramatic shootout at High Noon in Texas anytime in recent memory. “I feel almost betrayed, actually. It’s as if television isn’t even trying to be realistic.”At press time, Nasreen was seen angrily correcting his roommate for implying that the Middle East contained nothing but oil wells and war ravaged urban ruins, claiming that was a totally falsified Western media portrayal of his homeland.

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Kushal is a hurricane hitting a Brachiosaurus stuck in rush hour traffic. He is the harmless prank phone call that frightens your mother into moving your entire family eight counties away. He is the smell of freshly baked cookies eerily emanating from an abandoned mental asylum. He is an amazing writer and incredible talent.