Diversity Gone Mad: Blue Man Group Brings On White Guy

LAS VEGAS— After 35 years of an all-blue cast, the Blue Man Group has decided to unveil their first white member, Brian. “I’m excited to be a role model for all the little white kids out there who always dreamed of seeing themselves on the big stage [The Luxor Hotel & Casino],” said Brian while scarfing down a meatball sub. “A white man joining a historically blue group? It’s truly a milestone.” At press time, BMG superfans were left wondering whether Brian could play the drums on beat.