Area Man Doesn’t Skate, Dies
LOS ANGELES — Yesterday, area man John Thacher dropped dead moments after his condemnation of skateboards, not taking heed of the ramifications indicated by the […]
LOS ANGELES — Yesterday, area man John Thacher dropped dead moments after his condemnation of skateboards, not taking heed of the ramifications indicated by the […]
WASHINGTON — In a stunning turn of events, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R – KY) has been confirmed as the true biological father of […]
WESTWOOD — Just a few minutes after ordering Mozzarella on his gourmet sandwich from The Study, first-year Hill resident Ben Larson realized his blunder. […]
KOOPA KINGDOM — Following the Trump administration’s recent deregulations in inter-franchise family law, Bowser, King of the Koopas, is seeking custody of the Teenage […]
RICHMOND, VA — A recent study commissioned by the American Arachnological Society (AAS) confirmed that an average of eight spiders crawl into a person’s mouth […]
NEW YORK — Former President Bill Clinton’s public relations representative announced this morning that he will be playing the star role in his own […]
WESTWOOD — Jaded first-year David Lewis recently concluded that his dream college, which touts itself as the hub of progressive minds and academic advancement, […]
LOS ANGELES — Popular streaming program Netflix has announced its new original project set in the Eighties. Showrunners Joseph and Joe Reiner expressed their […]
Point Men Are Born Free, And Everywhere He Is In Chains. By: Jean-Jacques Rousseau You may believe you are a free individual, but in reality, […]
PORTLAND, OR — Close friends and family of area woman Ella Hartley report that Hartley’s personality has seemed to gradually dwindle into an amalgamation […]
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