Migrant Crisis Reminds Man To Check For Ants Under Kitchen Sink
WESTWOOD—A recent article considering the migrant crisis in Western Europe reminded area man Jacob Schultz to check for ants under his kitchen sink. “They might […]
WESTWOOD—A recent article considering the migrant crisis in Western Europe reminded area man Jacob Schultz to check for ants under his kitchen sink. “They might […]
ONLINE—This Thursday the online forum AboutYourDog announced it was going on a juice cleanse. “I’ve just been feeling majorly bloated, and these viruses – yuck!” […]
WASHINGTON—Attorney General Jeff Sessions burst into tears today while hiding his Cheburashka plush doll in the bottom of a plastic storage container, anonymous White House […]
As the world’s most dangerous faggot™ I, Milo Yiannopoulos, have always strived to present the true and disturbing facts about the cancerous spread of third […]
HOLLYWOOD – Following fast on the heels of his new film Split, famed director M. Night Shyamalan has announced his latest movie entitled Please Help […]
HOUSTON, TX — On Feb. 5, something big happened at a sporting event somewhere involving some athletes and a ball. “Yeah, I just can’t believe […]
TOPEKA, KS— In a narrow 5-4 vote, the Supreme Playground Court of Smileyvale Elementary School ruled that the “Five Second Rule” was constitutional. “We really […]
Johnstown, PA–In the early hours of Christmas morning, Santa Claus helped president-elect Donald J. Trump deliver on his campaign promise to reinvigorate the rust belt’s […]
WASHINGTON–With Donald J. Trump’s transition team still filling positions in his cabinet, the president-elect has announced the appointment of retired neurosurgeon and former primary rival […]
MILWAUKEE, WI—Cutting off her father as he started to praise the new President-elect, Amy Richardson began a detailed discussion of her sex life. “Hey Dad, […]
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