Australian Fire Update
In lieu of impending ecological collapse, UCLA continues to closely monitor the New South Wales Bushfires in accordance with the Australian government. There are currently […]
In lieu of impending ecological collapse, UCLA continues to closely monitor the New South Wales Bushfires in accordance with the Australian government. There are currently […]
Yo, the name’s Justin Timberlake and I’m the creative genius behind the 2006 hit “SexyBack.” I’ve been called “the most talented artist of our generation,” […]
HALL OF DOOM — Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is in hot water following reports of “off-the-record” dinners with Lex Luthor and assorted members of the […]
WESTWOOD — Confidently swiveling in all directions to address her audience, project lead Angela Moriarty announced her team’s findings, which conclude that productivity increases 360% […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump appears to be firing back after being thoroughly criticized for his conversation with Volodymyr Zelensky, the Ukrainian president. “Witch […]
WESTWOOD — After attempting to Google-search “Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale Free Streaming 1080p,” second-year biology major Serena Tambor discovered her default browser had […]
NUUK, GREENLAND — In an unexpected turn of events, Chancellor Gene Block outbid President Trump in the competitive and closely-watched sale of Greenland. “In many […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services announced Friday that a highly qualified team of male scientists tasked with detailing the […]
BERLIN — In a groundbreaking study, a coalition of physicists and mental health experts have designated the simultaneous dead and alive condition of Schrodinger’s Cat […]
WESTWOOD — This afternoon, the UN passed a resolution to reclassify one-floor elevator trips from a low-level faux pas to a fully fledged war crime. […]
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