Kerckhoff to Begin Marketing New “Adderall Blend”
WESTWOOD — In light of declining sales for their signature cold brew coffee beverage last quarter, Kerckhoff Coffee House has begun testing a marketing campaign […]
WESTWOOD — In light of declining sales for their signature cold brew coffee beverage last quarter, Kerckhoff Coffee House has begun testing a marketing campaign […]
WESTWOOD — In a statement made this week by Gregg Goldman, Vice Chancellor and CFO of UCLA, it was announced that the campus’s entire John […]
VATICAN CITY — At a recent papal summit, Pope Francis confirmed that Murphy Hall lies within the boundaries of Hell’s most treacherous and damning circle. “You might […]
WESTWOOD — Uber driver Zvonko Christensen has reportedly been trapped in an eternal loop around the residence halls of UCLA, tirelessly navigating the winding one-way roads […]
WESTWOOD — After an unprecedented week of sporadic rain across Los Angeles county, first year UCLA student Dustin Foster controversially declared to his distracted roommate […]
WESTWOOD — In a totally Virgo move, third-year English major Alison Wong dropped her religious studies course after discovering her professor was a triple water sign. “I’m […]
WESTWOOD — Red Bull Campus Ambassador Colin Greene was seen lingering an appropriate fifteen feet outside of the UCLA LGBTQ Center, contemplating whether he should enter the […]
WESTWOOD, 10:07 a.m. — Westwood Enabler reporters have obtained disturbing reports from campus administration that a professor has entered the Boelter Hall amphitheatre with a […]
WESTWOOD — Contrary to all laws of nature and common sense, it is still raining in Los Angeles. Pamela Hauser, 1st year English major and […]
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