UCLA Taskforce Taskforce Tasked With Enforcing Taskforce Tasks
WESTWOOD — In a fairly precedented move, UCLA’s Department of Redundancy recently announced the formation of a Taskforce Taskforce, which will be tasked with enforcing […]
WESTWOOD — In a fairly precedented move, UCLA’s Department of Redundancy recently announced the formation of a Taskforce Taskforce, which will be tasked with enforcing […]
Ready for a movie that you’ll like as much as you hate condoms? Christopher Nolan’s cinematic masterpiece is beloved by film bros everywhere, and soon […]
Nice guys finish last, but take my word for it, being an utterly irredeemable piece of human garbage is difficult. To help you out, the […]
There’s a fine line between witty and worrisome at important events such as the wake of your grandmother, so here are four things not to […]
2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]
SACRAMENTO — Local man and former girlfriend-haver James Jobs shocked acquaintances and family on Friday with his announcement that he will retain his and his […]
As a member of the premiere satirical newspaper at UCLA, I personally feel like I’m being held back. I know I got what it takes […]
CYBERSPACE — As you attempted to begin your Monday morning midterm, the anti-cheating application Respondus LockDown Browser™ released a statement suggesting that you would look […]
The lies of the bourgeois press may have led you to believe that the 2016 presidential election has already concluded. Well, I’m here to tell […]
MARINA DEL REY, CA — On Monday afternoon at approximately 4:15 p.m., local apartment complex resident Michael Khaney decided to take a dip in his […]
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