I Lived It: My Face Card Got Declined
WESTWOOD – It’s 3:30, and I just got out of class to go to Kerckhoff Coffeehouse. It’s been a long day and I need my […]
Bruinwalk
Opinion: This “College” Shit Is Nothing Like Community
I arrived at UCLA like many first-years: bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and convinced that my four years at college would be just as magical as the six […]
History Department Announces New Concentration In “Future”
WESTWOOD – After running out of past to study, the history department has announced that students can now declare a concentration in “future.” “We are […]
School Spirit? Student Refuses To Wear Trojan Condoms
WESTWOOD – In a bold display of Bruin spirit, first-year Gender Studies major Chad Ryan announced on his Instagram yesterday his refusal to wear Trojan […]
Opinion: I Need To Fuck Someone With A Scooter
Look, I’m over it. UCLA is basically an Olympic endurance course disguised as an academic institution. From walking up Bruin Walk to climbing the Death […]
Opinion: I Need To Fuck Someone With A Scooter
Look, I’m over it. UCLA is basically an Olympic endurance course disguised as an academic institution. From walking up Bruin Walk to climbing the Death […]
Opinion: Athletes Should Only Ride Scooters If Their Team Has Won A Championship In The Past 10 Years
You blink and they appear: a 250 pound, 6 foot 5 monster hurtling toward you with an empty, dog tagged backpack at 45 miles an […]
Saddam Hussein’s Uncovered Journal Entries Reveal Plan To Hide In Hedrick Hall Triple Before Opting For “More Comfortable And Spacious” Spider Hole
WESTWOOD – Released earlier today by the UCLA History Department, journal entries written by Saddam Hussein prior to his death reveal that the Iraqi dictator […]
Bomb Shelter Subway Whistleblowers Gone Missing
WESTWOOD — Several whistleblowers who spoke up about price gouging and moldy ingredients at the Bomb Shelter Subway have recently been reported missing. “For so […]